My One Change That Worked: How I Conquered After-Work Tension Via an Surprising Find in the Attic

One often feel as tense as a wound-up clock once the workday ends. Tension grips my shoulders, breathing becomes rapid and shallow. Usually, the sound of my laptop lid slamming shut used to lead to the pop of a cork from a wine bottle, wine poured quickly into a glass, that initial sip marking the end of the workday.

Then, several months back, I came across an old school recorder belonging to my grown son up in the loft. Curious, I blew into it, instantly reminded of the time it was the bane of my life – his daily practice a violent assault on my eardrums, the piercing shriek still reverberating through my head long after he slept.

Instead of throwing it away, I brought it downstairs, together with a beginner’s songbook. Growing up, I had no musical talent whatsoever. I’d had recorder lessons at infant school, but never had the opportunity to learn other instruments.

Searching online for recorder tutorials, I viewed many kid-friendly YouTube clips, and printed out a fingering chart. Looking up simple recorder songs, I felt excited when I played a recognizable Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Admittedly, a typical young child could learn it quickly, but as a tone deaf, impatient and stressed 51-year-old, it felt like a huge achievement.

My son questioned my actions (and begged me to quit), but I kept going – I enjoyed the sensation the recorder gave me. Forgetting notes easily forced me to focus on the music sheet, and painstakingly copy the finger positions. My breathing slowed down, I was focused, and after nailing that initial shaky melody, I felt euphoric. I had managed to play music.

Now, after some months, I can “play” other nursery rhymes and a decent Ode to Joy. Yes, my timing is rubbish, and I must jot down note names, but to me, it’s not about being skilled or a “musician” – it’s purely about the joy it provides and how it clears my mind while playing.

I read that only one in six children learn to play the recorder now, which probably relieves parents, yet it made me wistful for my school years, as well as my son’s.

I make it a habit to play each night after work as my first activity, and in those 20 or so minutes, I am in my own little world. Afterward, I feel refreshed and happy.

My friends find it amusing, yet a therapist friend informed me that I was reducing stress, and boosting mental skills, like memory and sound processing, which is invaluable at my time of life. For daily wellness, it’s a real “ode to joy” indeed.