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I am someone who believes that it is always possible to change. My view is you absolutely are able to instruct a veteran learner, provided that the mature being is open-minded and eager for knowledge. Provided that the person is prepared to acknowledge when it was in error, and endeavor to transform into a better dog.

OK yes, I am the old dog. And the lesson I am working to acquire, despite the fact that I am set in my ways? It is an important one, an issue I have grappled with, frequently, for my all my days. The quest I'm on … to become less scared of the common huntsman. My regrets to all the different eight-legged creatures that exist; I have to be grounded about my capacity for development as a human. It also has to be the huntsman because it is sizeable, commanding, and the one I see with the greatest frequency. Including on three separate occasions in the last week. In my own living space. Though unseen, but a shudder runs through me at the very thought as I type.

I doubt I’ll ever reach “enthusiast” status, but I’ve been working on at least achieving Normal about them.

I have been terrified of spiders dating back to my youth (unlike other children who are fascinated by them). During my childhood, I had a sufficient number of brothers around to guarantee I never had to engage with any personally, but I still panicked if one was obviously in the immediate vicinity as me. One incident stands out of one morning when I was eight, my family unconscious, and facing the ordeal of a spider that had ascended the family room partition. I “dealt” with it by positioning myself at a great distance, practically in the adjoining space (for fear that it chased me), and emptying a significant portion of bug repellent toward it. The spray failed to hit the spider, but it did reach and irritate everyone in my house.

As I got older, my romantic partner at the time or cohabiting with was, as a matter of course, the most courageous of spiders between us, and therefore in charge of dealing with it, while I made low keening sounds and ran away. If I was on my own, my tactic was simply to leave the room, douse the illumination and try to ignore its being before I had to return.

In a recent episode, I was a guest at a friend’s house where there was a very large huntsman who made its home in the window frame, primarily hanging out. In order to be more comfortable with its presence, I envisioned the spider as a female entity, a one of the girls, one of us, just chilling in the sun and overhearing us chat. Admittedly, it appears rather silly, but it had an impact (a little bit). Or, actively deciding to become less scared did the trick.

Whatever the case, I’ve tried to keep it up. I think about all the logical reasons not to be scared. I am aware huntsman spiders pose no threat to me. I recognize they consume things like insect pests (creatures I despise). I am cognizant they are one of nature’s beautiful, non-threatening to people creatures.

Yet, regrettably, they do continue to walk like that. They travel in the utterly horrifying and almost unjust way conceivable. The vision of their many legs propelling them at that terrible speed triggers my ancient psyche to enter panic mode. They claim to only have a standard octet of limbs, but I maintain that increases exponentially when they are in motion.

But it cannot be blamed on them that they have unnerving limbs, and they have an equal entitlement to be where I am – possibly a greater claim. I’ve found that taking the steps of trying not to immediately exit my own skin and flee when I see one, attempting to stay still and breathing, and consciously focusing about their beneficial attributes, has begun to yield results.

Just because they are furry beings that dart around at an alarming rate in a way that invades my dreams, is no reason for they warrant my loathing, or my high-pitched vocalizations. It is possible to acknowledge when my reactions have been misguided and fueled by unfounded fear. It is uncertain I’ll ever attain the “scooping one into plasticware and escorting it to the garden” level, but you never know. A bit of time remains for this seasoned learner yet.